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Aug. 25th, 2005 @ 10:18 pm something new
Current Mood: confusedconfused
well, i've been back for a week and not much has changed. I'm hangin' out with chels a lot. We're not dating but it feels like it. I'm having a lot of fun with her. We fought 2 nights ago. I hate it when she gets high. She always asks why. It took me a while to figure it out but here it is. She always compares smoking pot to drinking. Chelsea has been known to smoke atleast once a day at times which is pretty bad. Now what do we call someone who drinks everyday, an Acoholic. Now there is no marijuana term for acoholism but you all get it. That's how I see it at least. I care about her enough to fight with her on these things but I don't want to fight anymore...
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Jul. 1st, 2005 @ 11:24 pm (no subject)
Wow where to start. So most of you know I dated this slut named Chelsea. Well, frist she wanted to break up with me for some guy. Whatever..... Then I found out, from one of her best friends that she cheated on me with some guy from a concert she went to, and who knows how many other guys..... So I called her out on it and the bitch denies it. So I told the whore I never want to talk to her ever again..... and let me tell you, IT FELT SOOOO GOOD!!! So I made this little poem for her; here you go baby!!! :

to the biggest slut I know
who to me, nothing but a lie
karma will come around
and I hope you fucking die

when you go to hell, hope Satan
sticks a neddle in your eye
because you just lost a love
money can not buy!!

hope they were all worth it
hope it was good for you
because take, take, take
that is all that you do

hope that they realize
that your such a bitch
kill your fucking ass
and through you in a ditch!!

my will is not very stong
often it breaks and bends
but the hate I have for you
now has no ends

if your frinds of hers and mine
please don't pick a fight
my heart was just ripped out
when all I did was treated her right

so I hope you find happiness
because when it's all through
karma is a bitch
just like you!!!



Story time:

So we all know I cheated on Kristen with Chelsea. And now....... she cheated on me..... see a pattern???? i do...... I've learned my leasson well. I swore to her I'd treat her right and never cheat on her and I stayed noble to that promise. I remember the day I found out about. All month she was like, " I want you to come to this concert blah blah blah" and I was ready to go. The day came and the lier bitch slut says she's to tired to go so she was going to take a nap. I let the whore sleep for 3 hours before I decide to call her. Suprise Suprise, she had been gone for 3 hours...... FUCKING SOME GUY!!! yup...... Can anyone blame me for these feelings???? If so, please do speak up....... How's the poem????? I could really care less if the bitch get's into a car accident or gets murdered. Perferably, I hope she gets with this guy and gets treated like shit, gets nothing she wants, and gets cheated on!!! THAT WOULD BE AWSOME!!!! If this post is shocking to anyone, just so you know, I'm shocked too. I've never HATED anyone as much as I hate that slut!!! Anyways I'm in Santa Clara Vanguard, ALL THE CHICKS ARE HOTTTT!!!! Moving on will NOT be hard. The skank wasn't even my type anyways.


............I'm done. That felt sooooo good.........
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Jun. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:45 pm TOUR!!!
Current Mood: draineddrained
Sup yall'!!!

Santa Clara VANGUARD!!! it's SOOOO bitter sweet. I get to march this amazing drum corp, but i'm ripped from the one I love sooooo much. I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much baby!!! I'm also not on rifle line (the first time ever) but I'm twirlin' this damn flag like there is no tomorrow!!! Oh well. i'll update more later.

LOVE YOU BABE!!!

MATT
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May. 31st, 2005 @ 07:24 pm this is something i would do.....
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: Don't want to miss a thing
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No way

Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

REPOST THIS IN 5 MIN. or IF YOU CARE FOR SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT YOU LOVE...
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May. 27th, 2005 @ 06:12 am (no subject)
If you died tomorrow

If you died tomorrow
I don't know what I'd do
Would I cry a million tears
Would I try and get over you?

If you left without saying goodbye
Not even a kiss on the cheek
Would my world fall down
Or would it be over in a week

If you mysteriously went missing
And no one knew where you went
Would I go looking for you myself
Or just think of the good times that were spent

So if you left without notice
Without saying goodbye
Or if by chance you went missing
And all I do is cry

Or if you die tomorrow
And I don't get to kiss you goodbye
I just want to let you know right now
That I LOVE YOU forever, even after you die

_________________________________________________________

If I could have my dreams come true
These are the things I'd like to do.
To have a cabin deep in the woods,
And someone to share both the bad and the good.

We'd lie by the fireplace,forever it seems,
And share with each other our future of dreams.
As we tire of talking,we'd snuggle up close,
These are the times, I'd cherish the most.

The times when I feel so close to someone,
Who gives me such pleasure and so much fun.
Who isn't afraid of what the future may bring,
And share so much love, that our hearts sing.

Sometimes I wonder will my dreams come true?
And I ask myself, could it be with you?
I don't have the answer, atleast not to share,
I'm afraid if I share them, you wouldn't care.

So, until the time comes, when the timing is right,
I'll cherish our time everyday and night.
And if in the future, our dreams become one,
Then I'll know that my dreams has only begun.

To have you beside me, through the rough seas and good,
I know we'd make magic, I'm sure that we could.
For you are my soul mate, I believe in my heart,
And to get to our dreams, we must first make a start.

So, please take my hand, and don't be afraid,
I believe that together, our cabin will be made.
I'll never doubt my feelings for you,
And if you return them, all our dreams can come true.

___________________________________________________________________


Chelsea; I love you sooooo much. I will miss you dearly. You will be in my heart and in my head every day. YOU will be my biggest motivation!! I love you, never forget that!!!!!
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May. 18th, 2005 @ 11:12 am OMG!!!!
Current Mood: lovedloved
I AM SOOOO IN LOVE!!!!!
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May. 5th, 2005 @ 06:34 pm good song!!
Current Mood: okayokay
Lyrics - LoveHateTragedy

Black Clouds
Music by: Tobin E.
Lyrics by: Jacoby S. & D. Buckner

this is making me crazy
these black clouds following me
so i look for signs of light
but rarely i see them

i return to my shelter
and i crawl in a bottle
i'm losing my will for this
so over emotional

black clouds
they rain down but
they can't kill the sun

confession of depression
this life i'm second-guessing
like ashes to ashes
i always seem to fall down
i'm tired of running
it's time to face my demons
confession of depression
this life i'm second-guessing

my emotions are storming
and tears fall just like rain
pain strikes like lightning
despair is becoming my friend

i'm pushing myself to a point of self-destruction

black clouds
they rain down but
they can't kill the son inside
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May. 5th, 2005 @ 06:17 pm yippy!!!!
I just got my last credit!!! I'm getting my deiploma next week!!!! yea!!! Got back together with Chelsea last night after a 2 and a 1/2 week break. BOUT TIME!!!! GOD MY TATTOO IS BURNING!!!! and my tounge is swollen. I must be crazy. I'm almost done with my last 5th of wisky. GOD IT'S SOOOO GOOD!!! Must get more.....
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May. 1st, 2005 @ 02:40 pm VANGUARD!!!
Current Mood: flirtyflirty
I'm in the airport paying $.25 a min. to update!!! I must be crazy!!! newayz We are all the way through thr frist 3 productions. 2 more to go then we're done. Umm.... CUTE GIRLS!!!!! This is vanguard I guess. Rick had a meeting with the corp and asked random people what brought them to vanguard and all of them fit guard girls in...lol Ummm. there are some cute pit girls too!!! I can't wait to move in. Let's see.... Chelsea still needs time. Oh well. Whatever. Dave Miekel talked to me about my body and said I look fine but I should tone up a little more......I FAT, it's ok, it's not a secret. Darryl and I are going to hit the gym this week. There is a cute girl 7 seats away from my at she is sooo pretty!! She has a nice ass too!!! Blonde hair blue eyes about 5'4" 120lbs. I think I'll say hi.....
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Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 10:58 am J/K Still updating
Current Mood: flirtyflirty
Current Music: Papa Roach- Depression Period
Sooo I think I talked my mom into getting me a car. Downside..... I have to become a full time student. Suck. I'm getting my new CD in like 7 minutes. LOVEHATETRAGETY. I'm soooooooo drunk right now and I'm at the library. It's kinda weird. Anyways, I really need to buy another pack of smokes and eat. I've been running every morning around my block and lifting weights. Darryl and I were going to go to the gym but he got cought in that freak thunderstorm last night. I'm hangin' with my friend Mike today. He's such a frigin' rocker. He's the lead guitarist of the band. FUCKIN' ALCI. Were going to go see his friends in Milwalkie today so I can hear some of their new stuff. I think I want to join!?!?!? I don't know. I could be a rock star can't I??? Yay groupies!!!!! Ummm.... MARY!!!! I won't be home on Friday, I'm leaving for a SCV camp. I'll call you on Sunday and maybe we can hang sometime during the week..... COOLIO???? yeah..... BRIT!!! I want my damn CD back or your going to buy me a new motorcycle!!! btw Did you see that episode of " THE FABULOUS LIFE OF BRITANY AND KEVIN" on VH1? It was hotttt. Ummm...............I have to go get drunk now......
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